I Am BFM.
Post STX:
In April of 2012, we sold everything we owned, uprooted our family, packed up 36 boxes and relocated BACK to Austin, Texas after living on the incredible Caribbean island of St. Croix for almost ten years. Why? Because it was time. Not an easy decision to make, but one that needed to be made. I can fall back into my SAHM status (at least until reality sets in), and my The Fisherman {still} can explore new skills selling his next in line passion: BEER.
We have literally gone from Caribbean to Country in a single month. Miles of Hill Country views replace miles of varied blue Caribbean waters, and is just as beautiful. I can not spend my days comparing STX to ATX, because here is the difference: EVERYTHING. I can, however, share my outlook on living back stateside knowing what it is REALLY like to live in “paradise”. Now, I have to walk the talk, because Paradise is truly a state of mind, not a location. And just a reminder, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.
I decided to keep the background info below for those new to my blog. It lets you know where my persepective; I want to keep on the same topics, because after all, this blog is really for me, not for you. Enjoy, have fun, comment, disagree, ask questions. That is what I am here for.
x to the o Y’ALL.
bfm
THE STX YEARS:
So, that is me and The Fisherman with our 2 kids. All hot and sweaty, kids with no clothes, parents with no shoes. SC, the big sister blondie, smarter than your average bear little girl who has her Daddy wrapped so tight around her precious pinky, and SJ who is giving us a run for the money and showing us how boys are supposed to act (the Destroyer is his nick-name). By the looks of his smiles and laughs, he is already living up to his namesake after his PaPa Jack. My wonderfully patient husband, The Fisherman, fishes everyday. He works really hard to allow us to live the life we want to live on STX and provide for our children. I love him more than words can describe; and am so proud of him as a husband, father and role model to our children. He has to put of with a lot from me. A lot.
I learned a lot from my previous employment, which was a creative hobby that I found a way to get paid for. It was partly my job to promote all the good that is St. Croix. That job became difficult when I started seeing less good in the paradise in which we live. For me, the novelty was wearing off and I was tired of putting on a fake smiley face everyday to pretend I loved living in paradise. So I decided to get pregant again and quit the job all-together. But I still needed SOMETHING to do. To keep this mind sharp, I needed it to be something I enjoyed. Blabbing, baking, cooking, crafting, gardening, attempting to sew and then sharing it all with those who are curious about my life on this rock. It includes the daily challenges as well as the things I love about the life I have choosen to live on St. Croix with out being censored. So, I began my barefoot blog filled with babbles about the beach and such.
This blog is not about parenting. This blog is not about gardening. This blog is not about grocery shopping or baking, cooking, crafting, surviving, fishing, raising a family, photography, beaches, being a wife or why you should or should not quit your job pack your bags and move to Paradise Island. This blog is about doing all those normal things on a 27 mile long island. Because it is a challenge. Every day.
Living life on a Caribbean Island.
Living MY life on a Caribbean Island.
Because paradise is not always paradise. It’s what you make of it.
My hope is that this blog provides people with a peek inside the REAL LIFE of a young family trying to make it work on an island in the Caribbean that is PARADISE for 2 weeks if you are on vacation. Its not always the-happy-we go to the beach everyday… but what really is? For those who live here, sometimes it is a different story, but that’s why we love it. Most-times it is a different story. A way different story.
It’s not for everyone, the way we live, but its for us, and we have found a way to make it work.
And, I ask that you remember, Paradise is a state of mind, not a location.
Oh dammit, one more thing: I like a good Challenge.
AND more thing, I recently came across a conversation I had with a freelance writer from….islands magazine. Read the interview here, which was published in a 2009 edition.
xo
bfm
I love this! Good idea! MIss you lots! Give everyone hugs and kisses for me!
Love ~ B
Very interesting subject for a blog. (One that is lacking and sorely needed).
I have some friends who visited Hawaii every year. They thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to live here all the time.”
They quit their jobs, sold everything, moved there, hated it, moved back, and had to start all over when they should have been retiring. They really needed an insiders prospective.
Keep it up, thanks, Tristan
Hey there,
Let me start off by complimenting your beautiful family. The island life seems to be quite a fit for all of you… especially your little gardening buddy, SC.
and up poped your blog. I have so many questions for you and was wondering if you might be willing to converse via email. If so, please contact me at isabellarosesky@yahoo.com
I’m a fellow Austinite, still living here in the city, patiently awaiting my fiance’s graduation from the University of Texas, this December. I found you as if by fate, and I just had to contact you for some advice. I know you’re a busy on-the-move-mom but I figured there wasn’t any suitable substitute. Afterall, you’re living the life we’re seeking.
A brief background of our situation as it stands…
I have recently graduated with a degree in early childhood education and my fiance is completing the same degree program. We are 24 & 26 and feel that we are ready for the next chapter in our lives…A change of scenery to shadow two new careers. We’ve spent several months searching via web (don’t have the xtra funds to personally visit each of them) and I think we’ve agreed upon a similar decision that you and the fisherman first agreed upon. We will move somewhere for one yaer and decide if it works for us. We also agree that being near water (preferably clear and beautiful, of course!) is greatly desired.
Well, that didn’t quite narrow our search as much as we had hoped, go figure, so I had to get creative… I asked for a sign
Thanks so much!
-C Daily
hey there cousin Anna….we will be seeing you on the 10th (also making our trek with the new baby). Hope to see you soon with the little ones. Send me the address so I can pull directions.
Danny
We’re coming to STX Aug 7-14. First time. REnting Villa – only way to go with 4 kids & 4 half crazy parents. Leaving pets at home. Found your blog when I was trying to find out what cereals might be in the grocery store. We’re having the villa people pick up some provisions so that the first night we get there we can go straight to villa, make a drink & sit by the pool & look at the ocean & know we have something to cook on the grill that night & we have cereal or toast for breakfast. Then in the morning my sister & I can head to the Plaza Extra or somewhere to get some more food & drinks. Oh, BTW – we’re native texans too. Loved reading your blog. Haven’t found the part about why your husband left his job in Texas, assuming he did, & ended up in STX.
Thanks for the comment. its nice to know people are still reading my stuff! You are going to have fun relaxing. It will be hot and that will keep you cool- just doing nothing. But there IS plenty to do if you want. Keep in mind, August is S L O W, or maybe I should say D E A D season on island. IF you are planning any activities with your kids, reserve in advance, or call now to make sure the business will be open & operating. Some business owners take the slow season to take vacations, etc.( Not sure how old the kids are, but I recommend kayaking, ATV tours, jeep tours, Buck island and of course fishing. We’ll be here! The Fisherman has been taking LOTS of kids inshore fishing this summer catching snapper, etc and having a blast!)
My (then boyfriend) husband and I came here together. His cousin lived here. We came to vacation to check it out. We were young stupid kids outta college with no baggage (literally) and no “real jobs” yet and said we would give it a year. And the rest is history. Just trying to make the best of the situation we are in. And it ain’t so bad…….
Hello, I read your blogs and wow….I live in Texas, on the gulf coast. I’ve been through hurricane Rita and Ike, helped with evacuees from Katrina. My husband’s company is no more, a casualty of a bad economy and has been looking for work for the past six months. He is 56, wont go back to school, but is going crazy because he loves to work. For the past 15 years he has done a very specialized service. He has been offered a job in St Croix, a friend has an opening in his company, the only opening he has……it appears he has difficult getting people to accept the St Croix position. I am 52. I have a masters in rehab counseling. I love my job. All I’ve read about St Criox leads me to believe it is not for the faint of heart….I am great health, work out etc…. but no airconditioning.???? We live a modest life, I work for a non profit. From your blogs it sounds like you spend a lot of time doing the errands, that take us a short time, takes you quite a lot of time. Your blogs dont scare me; takes a lot to scare me. If its not brain surgery I can handle it, the question is do I want to……If we or he comes there it will be for financial survival and his sanity. Ageism is abound; the largest group of umemployed is between 48 and 64. We cant afford to retire early. So we aren’t one of those persons you mention who come to St Croix thinkng paradise. He is talking about going but I would stay here. He knows I love my job. The kids, both girls are in college and call home for money.
They swear they would visit more often if we moved to St Croix, right. This is more than you wanted to know or probably care to know but I am trying to decide if it is better to walk away from our house or he goes to St Croix for a couple of years until the real estate market improves, we can sell the house or the economy rebounds and he can find work here. Unemployment rate in our city is 11 percent!!!! Its really bad. Here, if you have a job you count yourself as lucky…..blessed.
What are your thoughts on the economy there….??? I cant bear the thought of being away from my best friend for so long. Can you send info on ‘expect to spend this much on food, electric, water’, and how big are those rats. How unfriendly are the people? What about Dengi fever;did I spell that right. Those rats; your a Texan, are they bigger than nutra rats? Financially we are sinking fast. His company lost their major contract, their only contract really 95 percent of the revenue. They are out of business. Savings is gone; we set aside six months….
Can we get around on my motorcycle as our only means of transportation?
I grew up on a farm, walked to school, wore my sisters hand me downs, but I always had love, food, and roof over my head. We were rich. I can handle going without, but not being together…..and no air condition???
Any information on the details of what the average expenses are would be greatly appreciated….From your blogs it sounds like the humidity we have here on the gulf coast. THAT I can handle but No airconditioning, ever? or just during brown outs.
I have two tow headed little girls, well not little or girls now. I can live anywhere as long as I am with the one I love and can see my girls now and then. It really doesnt matter where you are, your together. I just want to know how hard it will be so I can plan. I am a planner. Fail to plan; plan to fail.
PS: Are ‘care packages’ the way to save…. Do you have family/friends do that and if so what items….Thats a kick, my girls in college will send me a care package for a change, of course I’ll have to send them the money first, LOL.
Have a great weekend. Kayleigh
Wow, how wild. Our daughter’s nickname is SC, and we’re considering a relocation to St. Croix. I would love to pick your brain, when you had time, about island life. In the mean time, I’ll be obsessing over any tips on your blog. Thanks for sharing! I am really trying to get a grasp on childcare for a 3-year-old (part time while I’m in school) and how to find good rental deals. We’re looking at an approximate 2 year stay I’ve been searching for any info I can find!
I know, its been a while, I I tend to get innindated with emails like these and it is hard to respond to them all. I hope that you keep checking in with my blog to give you a better feeling of what my life is like….in paradise! Happy Holidays.
Great quote by bfm “Oh dammit, one more thing: I like a good Challenge.” BFM Stand Strong
My husband stumbled upon an article you wrote after telling him we should move to the virgin islands. Then I researched and come across your blog. What can i say accept brilliant! I love it when people are true to themselves and tell it like it is. I too have lived on a rock and after 7 years of raising my daughter where was deemed “right” am being called back to what is real and soulful for me. I would love to hear from you as I feel I just may be looking at a window where a door was closed!
Sincereley,
Lindsey
Welcome to my blog! I think some of my recent posts like Think Happy & Be Happy say how I feel. Paradise is a state of mind, not a location. Yes, we love living here, what it has to offer our family (and more importantly, what it DOESN’T have to offer our family) but it can be difficult to live here with kids. It can be difficult to live anywhere with kids. It’s damn expensive.
If you can afford it and want to take the chance, I tell people to try it for a year. Take a sabbatical from your job. Its just a year…….
Thank you so much for your forthright blog. I have literally spent the last 2 hours since I put my 2 toddlers in bed devouring your post over a glass of Cabernet. My husband is in the final stages of interviewing for a position out on STX, and while we have been out there for a week in the past, it was prior to children and without the knowledge that we would be coming back to our home (Austin, ironically). I really appreciate your candidness and identify with you as I am also a blogger and work from home writing. Your comment about the grocery store reminding you of the HEB at Lamar and Oltorf made me spit out of my vino. Been there many a time. Small world. Thank you so much for your words, if we do end up moving out there maybe I can buy you glass of red. – Kelly
I prefer Corona, but the company is more important than the beverage! And, I’ll tell all the other moms to shun you if you don’t bring me tortillas. It’s your duty as a fellow Austinite.
Small world indeed. 2 toddlers? Vino? You’ll fit right in. There is a TREMENDOUS network of moms here. We say, “It takes an island…” Keep me posted and feel free to email me privately if you have any questions. Don’t hold back. I’ve been asked it all. And I never sugar coat anything. I tell it like it is for ME and my family. Someone else might have a different opinion……
thebarefootmom@yahoo.com
I love your blog! I came across it after I told my husband we should move to the Caribbean, specifically St. Croix. We have two young children, boys, ages 5 and 2. It is great to hear your perspective on life there with young kids. It makes me feel like we could do it.
We have decided to take the first step and visit (without the kids) to see how we like it and to do lots of exploring. I could probably ask you a million questions and my husband could ask a million more, lol. Also we will be on the island Aug 6th-10th, if you’d like to get together for drinks or something.
Good for you! I can’t respond to everyone’s email, so I always suggest just keep coming back to my blog for answers and a good laugh about living in “paradise”. We’ll be here during the dates your visiting, so hit me up prior to your arrival ’cause I am always up for drinks!
Thanks for the note! Do you have any advice on things to see or do during our visit to help us get to know the island better if we were to move there? And do you have a realtor you would refer? We are planning on looking at a few houses while we are there to get a feeling for the real estate market.
Thanks so much!
Karen
check out GoToStCroix.com- they do an awesome job for things to do, etc. Keep checking back here for answers to your questions in post form! xoxo bfm
After being allowed to legally commit assault and battery on the pus-ridden Fisherman, I have spent an unexpectedly delightful afternoon reading the BFM’s blogposts. Your candid (read: sane and insightful) ruminations leave me feeling I’ve known your family a long time. Our surprisingly parallel lifestyles and philosophies will keep me reading.
SC and SJ are beyond lucky, not because of where they’re growing up, but how. I know you won’t lose sight of that, and then they’ll pass it on.
Hello BFM..
My wife has a chance to transfer to St Croix.. (medical position in the school system) Can you tell me about how the schools there are? We have three elementary age kids.
please help!
If you don’t know, can you lead me to someone that has an opinion?
thanks!
Ed at wrdw dot com
Well, unfortunately, the public schools are a product of a large part of the population living on government assistance. A very poor community, the teachers are challenged with no-funds, no electricity at times, school violence, etc. But, as far as administration is concerend, I am unaware of its functionality…but if I had to guess….I would assume it would be frustrating given circumstances. I don’t know anyone personally who works for the Dept Of Ed…but I do know some therapists (ocupational, speech) who work with the system.. I’ll send them your info.
On the other side of the coin is where are you going to put your children? Most people (statesiders or not) choose to put their children in a private school if they can afford it. There are varying degrees of schools ranging in price and type of curriculum. If you have not already- check out http://www.vimovingcenter.com/ for more opinions. Hope that helps- and feel free to email me directly with any questions you might have,
…the positive side is that STX is a GREAT place to raise a family. There is a huge network of moms on-island that all help each other out. I always tell people if you can afford to give it a year- do so. If you don’t like it- move back. If you love it- stay a while.
Hi! Just came across your blog today. We’re moving to Christiansted early Jan. Kind of a stepping stone for us, we’re living and serving at YWAM for the first 6months. It’ll give us a chance to really decide where we want to live, and if this is the right island for us.
I have a few questions if you can help…
1) I’m going crazy deciding which clothes to bring. We’ll be leaving winter clothes with my parents for trips back here (Indiana). I know hot, and love it! But how cool does it really get? Not looking for temps, more do we need jackets, any pants, etc?? what’s the coolest you’ve experienced?
2) So I’m feeling ok/safe living on YWAM property, but can you give us your opinion on that area (it’s next to K-mart). Any advise on safety? What to look out for?
3) Locals. What should we know when talking to them? I seem to remember someone in St. Thomas telling me to use a certain phase when saying hi. But have no clue what it was now.
4) We have a boy 5yrs, girl 4yrs. Do you and other moms get together for playdates? i want to make sure I make an effort for them to be with other kids. I’ll be homeschooling.
Im sure I’ll have more questions soon! Thanks, Joy
Ok, have no clue why but I can’t see what I’m typing, only the first few lines, so hope this reads ok.
Thanks for the questions. Here it is in a nutshell:
1) no matter what, you’ll bring more than you need and all the wrong stuff. To me, the nights are chilly. Yes, I wear pants. Coolest? A whopping 68-69 degrees. Doesn’t happen that often and only at night.
2) The area is realtively safe; but I don’t know a whole lot about the neighborhood. The property is beautiful (I was just there this weekend!)
3) Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night. Use it as a greeting when ever you walk in a room. Say it loud & proud like you mean it, especially in front of your children. Teach your children to say it and to respond when someone greets them in this manner
4) There is a GREAT network of moms & families on STX. We have an on-line group that you can become a member of (over 200+ moms strong!). We share events, sell items, ask advice, questions, etc. Then- you’ll naturally find a group of like minded moms you’ll click with, I am sure. There is a great homeshcooling network here as well.
Are you familiar with vimovingcenter.com? It is a great place to post questions and get a variety of responses. Good Luck! Hope to meet you one day and please let me know if I can help with anything else.
I stumbled across your blog on FB and <3 it!! I grew up on STX and haven't been back in 3 years and miss it terribly! However- you are very right about it not just living a vacation! Love this blog!
thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Glad I can bring a smile to your day about you island home! Happy New year!
Just another comment to say MAN do I share some of your views about life on St. Croix, and I haven’t even lived there since early 2007. We miss the beauty of the island, but…it’s not an easy life. Nice to “meet” you.
Thank, Pam. It’s always nice to hear from people who understand my point of view about the challenges of where we live. I am greatful for the opportunity.
Just came across your blog today Not sure how I found it.But its on my favorites now. .Been coming down for the past few years,and never want to leave.
Moved to Detroit Mi from Louisiana 5 years ago for work and coming down to STX in the winter is the only sun I see for weeks.
Please keep up the blogs for the dreamers.
We are heading that way 1/28/12 for a relaxing vacation.
Oh wow Darrell. The pressure is on! Detroit??? I just watched a documentary on the history of Detroit and its struggling economy. I’m glad you found me and left a comment. The weather is absolutely beautiful right now and you will have a fantastic vacation. We appreciate your love and support of our island. I hear the fishing is really good right now, too…. Xoxox bfm
Not for sure how I found your blog, but I appreciate it. I lived there during high school. I miss it. I know it’s not the same place it once was, in some respects, and others haven’t changed a bit. Your blog has been a stroll through memory lane.
I’ve been trying to tell my fiance` what STX life was like and I always seem to fall short. This helps.
@girton- I’m not sure how you found it either, but you did. Maybe with the most popular search term “MONGOOSE”?
I am glad it can put a smile on your face and offer a bit of nostalgia. I always say about living here: “Today is The Same as Yesterday, Tomorrow will be the same as Today”. It is hard to explain unless you have lived here. xoxo thanks for the comment! bfm
Wow,
I know you are busy and you get a lot of emails….but I hope you answered “Kayleigh”. I just found your blog while I was looking to get information from the “Avis” (local newspaper) on something I heard about teachers being being dismissed from schools on Wednesday.
I live a charmed life. I live here six months a year. The other I live in the Northeast. I try not to be a “snowbird” that to the locals is someone who shows up in the Fall, disrupts the regularly planned programming, attempts to insert themselves into everything and then leaves in the Spring. So I work three days a week in the schools. I also work for the Botanical Garden digging in the dirt and giving tours.
Kayleigh’s letter really caught me. A lot of people are struggling right now. With the Hovensa closing on our island so many of my island friends are in shock with what to do with their lives. Most must leave.
It takes a special kind of person to live here I think. You are a guest here and will almost always be. Being in the schools has taught me a respect for the people that make up this island, I think that gets brushed aside a lot.
It will become a calmer way of life with Hovensa gone. Less choices. Higher costs. And yes, if you can afford WAPA (water and power authority) you can have air conditioning.
Take a trip to check us out here, first Not for the faint of heart. But, you only live once!
Marie
@ Marie, thanks for stopping by to comment. You say it all very well. It can be difficult to leave here, and so many people are in shock over Hovensa closing I think because it is SUCH a wonderful way of life here. And then to be told you won’t have a job after X date? That the decision was made FOR you? People aren’t ready to give up this way of life here. I hope you keep in touch and offer your opinon on future blog popsts. My readerrs always appreciate different opinions and points of view. xoxo have a great day!