Don’t wear your bathing suit while you are shopping in town. You look ridiculous.
When you live in vacation land, you see a LOT of interesting things and people. Since our recent (old) found fame trying to please cruise ship passengers, interesting things and interesting people have increased. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that we are now a regular port of call with just one massive people carrying vessel a day. Not ten like St. Thomas, where people are herding through the streets like cattle. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE.

Ok, 2 ships this day. Thanks G. Lobb for use of the photo.
Back to shopping in your bathing suits: I spent a few hours yesterday in our beautiful little town on the west end where cruise ships dock, Frederiksted. It was BUMPIN’! Beaches were filled, shops were packed, Rainbow Beach was dotted with adorable blue sun umbrellas and rainbow stripe beach chairs. Jet ski’s were racing in the water, four wheelers whizzing by, and some new thing I need to find out about: SunBugs? (hmm, powered by sunshine. Looks like a solar-powered adventure is in my future!) It was really cool to see Frederiksted so full of LIFE, the return of life, and I was proud to live here. Everytime SC see’s the massive ship, she gets a kick out of the fact that people get on a boat to come see where we live and has commented, “Mom, why don’t they just come live here, too?”
Oh- shopping in bathing suits. Sorry. For what ever reason you may be visiting our beautiful, sun-shine kissed island, please don’t walk around with just your bathing suit on, unless you are at the beach. Don’t shop in town with your bikini top exposed or your shirtless-manly-man-recently-buffed-spray-tanned body for everyone to gawk at. I know it’s why you worked out every day in the gym for 2 hours for the past 3 months, just for this vacation, but it really is dis-respectful. And the people who call vacation land their home, we make fun of you.
And, it’s against the law in the USVI. You have to be covered. You can’t be shirtless, or walk around in just your itsy-bitsy-bikini, as badly as you want to. The officers aren’t trying to get a closer look to settle a bet if they are real or fake. They are approaching you to tell you to cover it up, honey. (they’re fake)
Take that hot body of yours to one of the many beautiful west end beaches, hop on a boat to Buck Island and pretend you are doing a Sports Illustrated photo shoot:

go diving and show those fish what its like to breathe air; hell, you can even fish naked if you want
(now you understand The Poem from my FIL) but please don’t walk into Steele’s Smokes & Sweets to buy a rum soaked cigar (or home-made fudge, rum cakes, American Spirits, choco-covered expresso beans…) or be seated at RumRunners with your titties hanging out,
despite how cute the bartenders are (sorry J&J, but it gets old)
I hope you do consider my home as your next vacation destination (but please stay in one of the many fine resorts, hotels or villas). It’s a bit more rustic than say, Maui, a bit more adventurous than Atlantis, a bit more “country” than St. Thomas, but if that is what you are looking for, then its perfect. And it is perfect.
Just don’t walk in town in your bathing suit.
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